The slide continues

Another day of making the "most" of my final two weeks. I look terrible. Feel buzzed I guess even though I'm prolly at least double the legal limit. Just can't quite get to that "drunk" feeling. I guess this is the 1 is too many, 10 is not enough philosophy my ex told me about. Truer words were never spoken. 

Want to take my Ambien now at 4:06 CT because then at least for 5 or 10 minutes I *will* feel very buzzed, but then ltfo. And, my pizza guy might be locked out. 

A week ago I was like...drinking...meh. But that was after a few days of not drinking. I consciously know the hardest part is getting thru the first day. And then the second. For me, anyway, it does get easier after that. Except for random Friday nights and bad days at work. Work...sigh.

Even if I was sober...what does that mean? Waking up bright eyed and bushy tailed...applying for jobs via Taleo (kill me) and never hearing back from anyone. Even people I interview w/ in-person where I think I killed it in the interview. All very discouraging. 

Oh and the last interview I had...I failed because I vocalized - after being asked - that I thought it was weird people in the South pray before Chamber of Commerce luncheons. 

Time to give my cat more meds. She's looking up. Poor girl will probably have a permanent head tilt after her stroke or whatever it was.

Peace.