"Have you lost weight?"

Finally. The key motivator for quitting alcohol in 2016 − vanity − *finally* kicked in this week at my monthly pain clinic visit. The nurse right away was like...have you lost weight? Since I did away with the zig-zag fruitlessness of daily weigh-ins a couple of years ago, I might as well use the ol' pain clinic as some kind of journal. Well I stepped on, and eight pounds lighter from March, and 15 lbs lighter for the year. 

Other factors that may be at play, I quit swimming, and swapped in walking briskly on a treadmill, at a 4 percent incline and "3.2" whatever that number entails.

Gotta be honest...that felt great. I really don't even want to talk about it too much for fear of jinxing my progress, so I'll shut up now.

Happy Friday.

New Addiction: World of Tanks

I really, really suck at WOT, but it's great fun. And I think it's cool so many people are into a game about relatively ancient combat vehicles.

I held on - no drinking

Didn't have a drink last night, although I wanted one bad (I realize it's "badly" but this is how people talk in the south). I did take a Xanax and a Norco (both legally prescribed) but a drink would've much better hit the spot.

However now it's Saturday morning and I just stepped off the treadmill after 60 minutes of walking at a brisk pace and sweating to death.

I'm going to play fetch with my kitten (she chases and retrieves hair ties for real).

If anyone reads this, thanks for doing so. Can't wait for my first comment.

Peace.

Powerful Urge to Drink

It's early evening on a Friday night. Everything I hoped this week would be, turned out not to be. Everyone and everything is pissing me the fuck off. The temptation to say fuck it and pour myself a Skyy & soda is palpable. I have the ingredients a room away. I'm going to try and fight through this, and it might require a Xanax. 

Bottom line - I still don't have anything to celebrate, and abandoning my resolve at a low point might feel good in the short run, but will ultimately make things worse, right?

FML.

Why do recruiters just disappear?

At first they blow up my phone. Are all-too-accommodating as we schedule the first interview, the second interview, the Skype interview, the in-person interview. Then...*poof* they disappear. No more updates, no callbacks. I don't exist.

Look...recruiters. We get it...you're busy. But if you know a candidate has given his or her all, studied the company, thrown on a tie or dress, jumped through all the hoops done all the interviews, they probably want to know what's next. If the client has decided to move on with other candidates, TELL THEM THAT. If it's been two weeks and you haven't heard from the client, same thing. Even if there is no update, THAT'S the update. 

This really isn't hard. Keep people informed. Provide feedback. If we did something wrong, say so. If you have constructive criticism, we'd love to hear it. We're all trying to learn.

When we check in two weeks later looking for an update, just provide one. Even if there isn't one. 

Off my soapbox.

100 Days Sober

Even though I'm still jobless it feels much better overall. My face has some contour and shape to it again, my clothes are looser, my alcohol-induced distended belly is largely gone and my mornings are hangover-free. Overall, I feel and look better.

That's not to imply I'm in-shape, because I have about 40 lbs to go. And that includes belly fat. In fact I've lost remarkably little weight, but again, things fit better so not sure what's going on. I know at my heaviest and most bloated I was 263.5. That was in 2013. Today I'm ~ 240. Goal: 200. Height is 6'3".

The thought of alcohol doesn't really appeal to me right now. I know on previous bouts of giving it up (Lent) I would still crave it. Even dream about it. But with a goal of quitting alcohol in 2016, it's a little different. I may or may not make it, but I have so far. 100 days down, 265 to go. Or something.

Dating a crazy girl while being sober is really, really hard.

That's all I've got.

Replacing alcohol with...ice cream?

First of all let's just establish ice cream cannot replace alcohol. That said, I am not a sweet tooth. At all. But this year I've probably consumed more ice cream (Haagen Dazs - chocolate and peanut butter to be exact) than I have in my entire life combined. I probably average 2-3 pints a week. 

Does anyone know why this is, or why this could be? I continue to exercise so please don't get the impression I'm sitting around stuffing my face all day. But as far as cravings go...it's very real.

Anyway - it's April. 3 months down. Have a couple of job leads...will see those through. Hope everyone is doing well.

Back from the land of temptation

Just back from my homeland out west. Triggers everywhere, drinking friends everywhere. Staying sober was weird but not impossible. I think it made others feel more awkward than it did me. Thought about caving, but then I'd be letting my zero (0) readers down. And myself.

Lost another whole pound last month. Actually tested negative for a controlled substance today. Normally that would be good, but at a pain clinic that's bad. They are going to send to the lab to confirm. So much for taking those exact drugs YESTERDAY. Maybe I need to ease up on my water intake. I average more than a gallon a day.

If anyone reads this, reply with a "." so I can detect a pulse.

Two months in

Doesn't really feel like a huge deal. Then again, I have avoided some social situations where I would normally drink, just to get some time under my belt. What am I realistically going to do at happy hour with a group of people? Yes I can drink soda water w/ lime for awhile, but my tolerance for people while sober isn't what it is when I drink. Drinking makes people more interesting to me. Either interesting or tolerable.

Continue to look for work and deal with flaky recruiters. Recruiters are all over your shit up until the interview. If the interviewer wants to go in a different direction after that, good luck on getting that update from a recruiter. Recruiters are basically worthless. I'm waiting on one to prove me wrong.

Off to the pool.