Back from the land of temptation

Just back from my homeland out west. Triggers everywhere, drinking friends everywhere. Staying sober was weird but not impossible. I think it made others feel more awkward than it did me. Thought about caving, but then I'd be letting my zero (0) readers down. And myself.

Lost another whole pound last month. Actually tested negative for a controlled substance today. Normally that would be good, but at a pain clinic that's bad. They are going to send to the lab to confirm. So much for taking those exact drugs YESTERDAY. Maybe I need to ease up on my water intake. I average more than a gallon a day.

If anyone reads this, reply with a "." so I can detect a pulse.

Two months in

Doesn't really feel like a huge deal. Then again, I have avoided some social situations where I would normally drink, just to get some time under my belt. What am I realistically going to do at happy hour with a group of people? Yes I can drink soda water w/ lime for awhile, but my tolerance for people while sober isn't what it is when I drink. Drinking makes people more interesting to me. Either interesting or tolerable.

Continue to look for work and deal with flaky recruiters. Recruiters are all over your shit up until the interview. If the interviewer wants to go in a different direction after that, good luck on getting that update from a recruiter. Recruiters are basically worthless. I'm waiting on one to prove me wrong.

Off to the pool.

Replacing one addiction with another

I believe I'm definitely doing that. The other "addiction" used to be a part-time pastime, in the form of Call of Duty Advanced Warfare. Granted I'm a year late to that party, but it's all new to me. Since I've begun playing on December 20, 2015 I've racked up 5 days and something like 12 hours of playing time. So in other words, in a little over two months, I've spend 5 straight days playing video games. 

Granted, I'm still sober so I'm going to just cut myself some slack there. Yes, I still take Ambien every night (and Adderall 2x day) so Rome wasn't built in a day, but I haven't had alcohol since New Years.

I'm convinced these words will forever go unread but in case I'm wrong, what are your least favorite maps on Call of Duty Advanced Warfare?  I really only have one - Horizon. I just can't seem to get off on that map. Bleak colors and uninspiring map design. Plus I just kind of suck at it. The best map is Riot IMHO.

Less prolific sober

The occasional journal entry, but otherwise just grinding. When I drank I felt compelled to write down every dumb thing that popped into my head. Can see why so many writers are drunks.

One month - 1 lb. weight loss?

So...that was discouraging. Had my pain doc appt today. Weighed a POUND less than a month ago. Granted I haven't been swimming religiously per usual, but I have had a few workouts. This must just be age, because historically quitting drinking leads to substantial weight loss for me. Keep grinding.

Still going...although it sucks

But I think that's more tied to an overall depression, and dealing with job applications and the suck that is Taleo (I copied that from someone else on the web). If filling out job applications with Taleo doesn't cause someone to relapse, I'm not sure what will.

I think it's been 11 or 12 days since I've written anything. Have been largely uninspired, and have been racking up major hours playing COD Advanced Warfare. Very unproductive really, but at the end of the day it's another day I haven't drank alcohol (drunk alcohol?)  

Trying to figure out how to get this blog in front of more eyeballs. Not sure, so I'll keep plugging away.  Wow this was a really boring post. My apologies.

Had to put the cat down

A crushing experience. Would like to numb the pain so badly, but I can't. So guess I have to just embrace it. Today really sucks.

Quitting drinking and quality of sleep

Knock on wood, and I'll probably suffer interminable insomnia for writing this, but it seems my quality of sleep is a lot better w/o drinking. For instance, I've only been sober a week and I actually dream. Like, really vivid dreams. Granted, one of those dreams had me messing up and accidentally tasting alcohol on my lips last night, but that's probably part of the process. I also have a slight headache from probably sleeping more than my body's used to. Or the vet bills I'm incurring. Either way, wanted to jot that thot down while I'm thinking of it.

To put the cat down, or not to put the cat down?

Whatever decision I make will have to be a sober one. So will the aftermath have to be. This will prove challenging.

This is really hard

Esp. after the New Year's bender