Friday, May 27, 2016

Big Tests coming up

Memorial Day Weekend is a 3-day weekend where I'm normally loaded. Or get that way fast. I mean sun, pool, summer kickoff...and I'm not going to drink? This is gonna get weird fast.

And my Birthday is in another month...and I'll be forced to spend it with someone who normally drives me to drink. She's going to get real offended if I don't drink with her. "It's your BIRTHDAY" she'll scream. "I'm not toasting you by myself!" And she'll have a point I guess. There have been three times I've taken a polite sip of something, just so people don't go slapping labels on me. I might have to do that again.

If anyone has any advice, I'm all ears.

Happy Memorial Day everyone.


Sunday, May 8, 2016

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Four (4) Months Sober

On January 3rd, at the tag end of New Year's Day Weekend, I took my last drink. One of probably at least a dozen I'd had from that day. My goal was to give up drinking for a year. I'm 1/3 of the way there, with some really hard parts to come. 

I'd been mentally preparing for this day for weeks...months maybe. So when I walked out to the empty 1.75 ml Skyy Bottle sitting atop the kitchen counter the next day, I had mixed feelings. On the one hand I was excited to embark on this new lifestyle. On the other hand I knew I was going to miss my old friend, and have to suffer through the "what the hell do I do now" times of the day...usually 4:00 p.m. onward.

And sure enough, those times and hours did arrive. While I was cleaning up and getting  ready to recycle everything, I thoughtfully drained the last four (4) drops of vodka into my palette before formally chucking the bottle. After all, I had heard somewhere that quitting cold turkey was bad for you, so I'm sure those four drops gave me new kind of life.

So here it is - May 4th. Four long months without a drink. Some observations in no particular order:

1) I sleep better

2) I look healthier

3) I feel healthier

4) My clothes are looser

5) I wake up hangover-free every morning. In fact morning is usually my favourite time of the day.

6) I can drive anywhere I want...day or night. Legally.

7) I socialize less

8) I go to bars less / not at all.

9) I don't get as euphoric as those magical 20-30 minutes after knocking back my first Skyy/Soda, but I also don't get as down the next day.

10) I'm saving tons of money at the ABC Store. As in, I don't go to that depressing store anymore. Not only is alcohol wayyyyy overpriced in this part of the country (sin taxes...God help me if I smoked too). But you just feel like a loser even being inside.

11) My problems are still there. Drinking or not drinking - I'm still looking for work. Nothing comes easily or quickly at  my current pay scale. Although I'm probably appearing healthier on Skype interviews. It sucks not being able to escape my problems the way I used to though. I do miss the tonic alcohol used to provide in that capacity.

12) I make better food decisions

13) I play a *lot* more Xbox. I have a very active / anxious mind and need to be mentally challenging myself a lot. Video games have become so sophisticated since the Atari days, that it now serves as my only competitive outlet.

14) I have less tolerance for toxic people. When we were both being toxic together, it was fun. Now she just gets annoying and abusive. In fact, I think we're broken up for good. While a part of me misses her, the sober, rational part knows it's for the best.

15) I'm less active on Twitter

16) It doesn't bother me to be around people who drink. Flying home for Easter presented all kinds of triggers and habits I could've easily fallen back to, but nursing on my Smart Water got me through it. 


17) I sweat a little less...except when on the treadmill.

18) I still get mad at people/events. However I say/text/email fewer regrettable things.

This is what I can think of now. I'm sure more will come to me. In case anyone read this blog...feel free to share yours.





Monday, May 2, 2016

In a horrible mood

Coincidentally, I haven't worked out since Friday. Today is Monday. Some people can do that and feel normal. Apparently I'm not one of them.